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Healing the loss of a Child
It was 33 years ago I lost my first-born daughter to an unknown virus that took her life in 14 hours. And in that moment of her passing, my life completely changed. Through my grieving process, empathy entered, embracing my soul and opening my heart to other’s pain. This heightened sensitivity allows me to move out of myself and help others in their struggles. Some listen to my words of spirit and life everlasting. Sometimes no words are needed. Allowing the space inside for empathy is strongly felt by those suffering. Anyone who has loved and lost can develop this ability.

When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight. - Kahlil Gibran

There is no rule about how long it takes to heal. Mine was a slow painful process. I never had a person or pet die that I loved deeply until my daughter’s death. I wanted to die. Yet I could not leave because I still had my other daughter to raise. I could not leave because my spirit would not allow it. I could not leave because my life work was just beginning.

It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth -- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up, we will then begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had. - Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Love held me together though I had to relearn what love really was about. Tears flow easily, smiles also, and beauty whispers love. And in my healing I found my voice.

Oh heart, if one should say to you that the soul perishes like the body, answer that the flower withers, but the seed remains. - Kahlil Gibran

As a result of my heart shattering and glued back together, I no longer fear death. In fact I no longer fear. So now I speak loudly when others hate and spew their venom. I want to grasp them by the shoulders, shake their spirit and tell them to wake up. They bring more suffering upon themselves and humanity. Life is not about hate. Life is about love. Life is NOW. Choose the light, not the darkness.

Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal. - From a headstone in Ireland

Though sometimes one must go through the darkness in order to see the light, remember your spirit always wants to shine in the light no matter what the circumstances. Extend love and empathy. And speak up when you are able. Such a lesson my daughter gave me, teaching love and empathy. And in those quiet moments I know this is her gift to me.

In the night of death, hope sees a star, and listening love can hear the rustle of a wing. - Robert Ingersoll

Below is a poem I wrote to express some of what I learned about her life and passing into spirit.
To Be-----------------------Joy

Joy in the morning
Each day that I rise
Near by my heart
Never leaving my side
You will always stay
I hear the rustling
Of your Loving soul
As it passes
Out of time
And into space
Very close you flow
To me now
Ever lasting, free to Be

Cape Cod 1978

My angel
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Sun, May 17, 2009